So, this post is about kindness. I have been greatly inspired and influenced from the 12 Kinds of Kindness project that Timothy Goodman and Jessica Walsh have been writing/creating/learning over the past several months. I love the ideas and emotions they share, the basic "guide" of sorts they are putting out into the world to try to become kinder, more empathetic, more real, and essentially more human, people. I've thought it about a lot, and I do think I want to get my own personal feelings and struggles out there. Like Jessica and Tim have talked about, we live in a time of TMI, of Internet, of America, of self-indulgence, of self-absorption, of endless entertainment and instant gratification. I admit, I am a millennial and am definitely addicted to my iPhone and Netflix, and have been fortunate to grow up quite privileged compared to a lot of people in the world. Yet I have always been a cautious and semi-private person. Just like a lot of people, my Instagram feed is not full of my worst moments, it's basically a highlight reel of what I want others to perceive of me. I don't know if that's a good thing, but if it's just me promoting the "perfect" version of me, I'm not sure I like that. Why am I so afraid to confront myself? Should I be kinder to myself? Do people perceive me as a kind person?
Regardless, I have had quite a lot of change in the past year, and I haven't really ever made the time to truly reflect on it or even write about it. I don't keep a journal, this page on my website called "Journal" is about as much as I write personally. But seriously, if I want to grow as a person, as a creative, as a biracial young woman, I need to think about my life. I don't want to find the "best version" of myself, I want to just find myself. The raw, emotional, lost, crazy version of myself. This past year of change has been so jarring but at the same time incredibly rewarding. I want to make sense of it all, and ultimately I feel as though this kindness thing is worth a try. As I write this from my tiny San Francisco apartment, I honestly don't care if anyone reads this at all, this is ultimately for me and to see if I can get anything out of it. :)
I'm currently thinking about that song Stay Ready by Jhene Aiko and she sings, "There is no place quite like here, there's no better time than now." It's a random night in March. I'm just going to see where this goes.
MicaelaArt from the 12 Kinds of Kindness Tumblr.